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Aug
4

Who is Really Being Rude Here?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock lately, you’ve heard the smash pop hit, “Rude” by the group Magic!. It speaks about a young man, seeking permission to marry a traditional man’s daughter. He is turned down by the young lady’s father, but rather than being rebuffed, he retorts with the line, “I’m gonna marry her anyway!” This is obviously a disturbing thought for any man who has spent a couple of decades nurturing what he considers to be one of his most valuable relationships on the planet. How might a father respond to such a scenario? So what is the proper role of a father in such a situation with his daughter? Here is one father’s response: Here is the full video: I think the popularity of Magic’s hit, “Rude” emphasizes the shift that has occurred culturally in America over the past 60 years, where fathers are no longer considered to be important entities in family life. They are regularly portrayed on television and movies as weak, bumbling idiots, who are constantly rescued from their folly by their wives and children. There has always been a tension that has existed between fathers and prospective young men hoping to whisk away their daughters. I believe it was G.K. Chesterton who said that fathers in every generation feel that they taking a priceless vase and handing it to an ape when they give their daughters in marriage. There certainly are scenarios of over-bearing fathers who act in a domineering and abuse manner, but sometimes proper protection can be seen as over-protection. In Biblical times, it was expected that fathers (of the bride and the groom) both played an important role in the marriage process of their adult children. What should that role be today? What does the Scripture say? What do you think? Israel Wayne is an Author and Conference Speaker and the Director of Family Renewal, LLC. He is also the Site Editor for www.ChristianWorldview.net....
May
7

What Should an Abused Spouse Do?

As much as we hate to admit it, spouse abuse happens, even among families who are in the Church. There are very few people who want to write on this topic, so it makes it very difficult for Christian women who find themselves in an abusive situation. I am going to attempt to address this topic, even though I know that my attempt will be imperfect. While it is less common, some men are abused, even physically, by their wives as well. I’ll be primarily speaking to women in this article, but many of the principles can also apply to men who are abused. There are different types of abuse: Emotional, Psychological (Mental), Spiritual, Physical, Sexual, and Financial. Often these categories overlap. My primary focus in this essay will be on the issue of physical abuse. That is not to in any way deny the severity of the other kinds of abuse, nor is it to imply that they are less important or even less damaging than physical abuse, but they are more subjective and more difficult to prove through a legal process, and therefore solutions become more difficult. Defining Abuse Here are some definitions of abuse and Domestic Violence from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence. Abuse is a buzzword right now, and a lot of people play the “abuse” card in situations where it is not warranted. Every marriage faces difficulty, disagreement, and conflict. That is not abuse. The fact that your spouse doesn’t see eye to eye with you, or doesn’t always say affirming things to you, or doesn’t appreciate you the way you feel he or she should does NOT mean that you are being abused. There will be some people who are looking for an excuse to leave their marriage and those folks may seek to find an excuse to do so in what I write here. Please remember that you stand before God for the marriage vows you made, and you may not simply annul them because you are experiencing some bumps in the road. This article is NOT intended to give anyone an easy exit from their marriage. Marriage can be difficult and godly people seek reconciliation and peace whenever possible (Psalm 34:14, 1 Peter 3:11). This article is to try to help those who are TRULY and GENUINELY being abused. I recognize that can be somewhat subjective, but I’m aiming for the reader who finds himself or herself squarely and consistently in the definitions provided in...
Feb
18

The Vow — Kim and Krickitt Carpenter (Book Review)

The Carpenter’s relationship was an all-American love story, complete with a romantic courtship and marriage, followed by a “happily-ever-after” ending. That is until they were both nearly killed in a dramatic car accident the day before Thanksgiving in 1993. They had only been married for three months. To make a long story short, Krickitt emerged from the accident with no memory of Kim whatsoever. She had lost several years of her memory completely, and had no recollection of ever meeting, let alone marrying, Kim. The book details Krickitt’s struggle to come back from the brink of death, and their desire to maintain a marriage, that no longer held shared memories to help hold it together. This book would be a great read for anyone who is dealing with head trauma in their family, is experiencing marital conflicts, wants to have a successful marriage, or for anyone who simply loves a good story. Kim and Krickitt are very honest about their own struggles and failures and I appreciated that their book wasn’t overly simplistic. They demonstrated that life is sometimes hard in the long run and everything doesn’t get neatly solved in a half an hour. Kim was committed to his wife, even though she didn’t love him anymore, even though she didn’t LIKE him anymore, even though she didn’t even remember him anymore. Krickitt had to learn to trust God to give her love for a man that she no longer knew. Their true story is an inspiration because it shows ordinary, everyday people, being heroic simply be doing the right thing; day after difficult day. The book was made into a movie that hit the theatres in early 2012. http://www.thevow-movie.com/ I have not seen the movie, but from what I can gather, there is little to no emphasis on their Christian faith reflected in the new film. To hear a bit about the real story, check out this interview: On a scale of 1-5, I’d give this a 3.75 overall. 224 Pages. The Vow (The Kim & Krickitt Carpenter Story) By Kim & Krickitt Carpenter, with John Perry (and Dana Wilkerson Copyright 2000 & 2012 Broadman & Holman ISBN#0-8054-2130-0 ISBN#...

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© Israel Wayne.